On this day 24 years ago my beautiful Mam passed away after an illness. While I can remember every detail about that day as if it were yesterday, I can’t remember what I did five minutes ago some days! I miss her every day, and no I haven't gotten over it, but I am still making my way around it.
She left behind a wonderful legacy to live up to, that of kindness and love. I still quote some of her one-liners, they were great, and with her sense of humour, she could find a way through the most difficult of times with a smile on her face.
Her three important things to make it in life still stand, they are good teeth, good diction, and good posture! She corrected us all the time about how we spoke and reminded us that just because we came from Dublin didn't mean we could leave out the last letter of certain words! Like hat and coat, we were made to repeat those words fully and correctly! The posture she was right about, as it is the basis of good health, according to Eastern philosophy a strong spine leads to good health.
Good teeth, also are a measure of good health, so she wasn't too far wrong with her estimation of the important things in life.
I still miss calling in and telling her the latest news. She loved special occasions, especially those that required an outfit, she loved to sew and had a great eye for fashion. Whatever outfit you bought, my Mam had the exact colour pair of shoes and probably the bag to match as well!
Somehow I never thought that she would die. Even though in my conscious mind I know that we all will eventually! I thought she would live forever with her wit, her kindness and her love for helping people.
My Mam loved flowers with a passion, so every time I buy a bunch of flowers for the house I salute her. I remember her all the time, the pain of her loss never goes away but it has faded to a manageable state. She loved to be called Mam, disliked the term ‘Ma’, and said it sounded like a sheep looking for its young! She was so funny her dry humour was so uplifting.
I have heard it said, when the grief of losing a loved one, is not the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning, you are finally starting to heal.
So maybe healing is happening after all and remembering the good times is in itself healing.