I was attending a funeral recently of a distant family member when I was really taken by the fact that funerals, while they are really sad of course because we have the loss of our loved one, but they can be happy as well.
Listening to the eulogy and the contributions offered by immediate family members brings home how important it is to tell each other every day, how much we love each other before we cannot anymore.
But actions always speak louder than words. For me, the words and the behaviour must match each other, or the ‘love’ word is not credible.
In meeting family members that I have not seen for a while, a stroll down memory lane began. The conversation about my aunt and my mother who were sisters, their talent as dressmakers, their attention to detail, their perfectionism, and who they made garments for was enjoyed by all.
The Royalettes that performed in the Royal Theatre, and lots of celebrities from RTE all attended with the utmost care. That was the day when hemlines and buttonholes were made by hand. My mother was the finisher and finish she did!
The lengths that were gone to, to make sure that customers got exactly what they paid for, were second to none. How we enjoyed as children, sitting under the cutting table and playing with the button box. Those buttons were like jewels from the Orient, or slivers of fabric that fell from the table were transformed into dresses for our dolls. Our imagination took us to all sorts of exotic places just with those, simple little items.
Mostly we talked about community and how things have changed now. Few people seem to care much about each other, not the way it used to be. Everyone helped everyone, that was how I was brought up. Nobody was isolated or singled out, everyone was supported, if you had it you shared it.
Life has changed in so many ways, some good some not so good. The struggle for equality I am afraid has gone to the other extreme. Women's rights have changed their role forever, now they can’t stay at home to be with their children, whether they want to or not. The cost of everything, the changes in expectations, the pressure on everyone, for me, is really sad.
I was one of the lucky parents that came from a generation that could stay at home. We just had less but I think our children had more. More of our time and attention, that day is certainly gone.
So back to the present, where the crematorium is like a factory, one in and one out. Four funerals took place while I stood in wait. And I thought about how transient our lives are, how uncertain and unpredictable.
Feeling my vibration starting to dip, using my tools, I choose to feel happy and content. They are the feelings that attract more of the same. So back to the future, to seeking out joy, to laughing more, to telling my loved ones that I love them every day.
Regina offers QTT Quantum Thinking Transformation sessions & Holistic Life Coaching. She also has specific reflexology treatments available for bereavement & loss should you feel you might benefit from support. You can find info here https://www.reginacurleylifecoaching.ie/services-reflexology-qtt-holistic-life-coach-aromatherapist-reiki-reflexology-training-dublin